Have you ever wondered why some criticisms sting so much more than others? Very often, people find themselves reacting strongly when their “identity” is threatened. We all have ways we define ourselves and the good mother, a great cook, the successful businessman. Fights and quarrels often arise when we feel someone is challenging what we believe about ourselves
Our kids are no different. Although they may define their identity differently and the intelligent student, the beautiful girl, the talented athlete and they, too, feel the sting when their identity is threatened. They may respond by questioning whether they are valuable, capable, and worthwhile.
When we become Christians, our identity changes forever as we become identified as children of God. Our value no longer depends on things like athletic skill, beauty, brains, or the opinions of others, because it is rooted in Christ. When we understand His work on the cross and accept His love, we can weather challenges to our identity on earth.
Our true identity is as a perfectly loved and accepted child of the living God!
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
James 4 NLT
Parenting by design